Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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