I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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