Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
