I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
