yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
