I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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