I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
barbara walters just said penis...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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