I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
