I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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