He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
