Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
