I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can you bring me the toilet please
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
