Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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