is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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