your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
