Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
