just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
