Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
