I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
