Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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