I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
