Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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