Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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