I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
