i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
