I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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