Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
farters have to be the big spoon...
this beer tastes like vomit already
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize