I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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