Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
