i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
