Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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