can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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