I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
