they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
