You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize