dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
