Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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