you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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