I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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