Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize