i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
