you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
