did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
