i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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