drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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