i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize