I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My Higher Power is John Stamos
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Someone signed my nipple.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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