At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
