Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Drake has all the answers
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
