their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
