Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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