You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
