The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize