ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
