Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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