god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize