i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
