I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
