im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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