I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
