when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
