I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
