He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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