I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
